Kitchen Misadventures

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Yesterday was kitchen misdaventure day. I burned my hand on the toaster oven, overcooked the meat, burned the rolls, and scraped up my wife's nice skillet with a metal spatula before finally turning over the reigns to her. The bad news is I can't cook worth a damn and looked like a fool, but the good news is I was inept enough that I may not be asked to cook again for a while, which is nice.

I am typing this right now while pretending to do work. That is always what I do , but literally this time I am pretending to set up a cell phone account for some guy. Hopefully, he doesn't look around the corner, but I don't think he will. I know for a fact that he is attempting to open up a fraudulent cell phone account, so I have no desire to actually try and help him. He is an hispanic gangsta with some sort of weird herpes on his lip that I can't help looking at, and he can't help but prod with his tongue. Now, I am going to tell him that he has a large deposit so he will go away.

I haven't updated this in a week or so mostly because I have been sick and mostly because I can't think of anything to write about, but if I am ever going to be a writer, I just need to write as much as I can. So I am going to go straight up Christmas letter style and just type about some stuff that has happened to me.

Last weekend was the poetry circus which went amazingly well. I sold some cotton candy, watched some belly dancers, learned about a few new awesome local bands, drank some good beer and then drank Bud Light, sold cotton candy to Morpheus from the Matrix, watched in awesome delight as two sisters in corsets got into a fight and learned that I think I hate theatre.

My sister's boyfriend put on the poetry circus and he and I have discussed possibly doing a play together. He says I would be a natural actor, and I got very excited and agreed. However, I watched two middle-aged people perform "Taming of the Shrew" to an indifferent audience and all I could think of was people making fun of them (because lord knows I was) and how that would probably be me if I were to ever do a play. Maybe this acting thing is for me after all.

The next day I was flattened by the worst sinus infection I think I have ever encountered. I was out for a few days, which was nice because I didn't have to go to work, but sucked because I didn't get paid.

I just realized that this is the worst thing I have ever written and will now end it abruptly.