Pineapple Cake and SCUD Missiles

http://www.good-time-charleys.com/drinks%20menu%20web.pdf


I am working with the girl today. She is a perfectly nice girl. She means very well. She is twenty years old, but her ID says shes twenty-two. Her breasts are large and she smells pretty. Again, a perfectly nice girl, but she's just not my thing.

She has blond hair and makes out with other girls when she drinks too much. She wears shirts that would be illegal if they were cut one half inch lower. She has too many guys stop and talk to her, which puts me on edge for some reason. I could probably get her to make out with me if I asked nice enough, not because she likes me, but because she likes the attention.

She has bad taste in music, but most people do. She has bad taste in men, but most girls do. She smokes, I think, or she just spends a lot of time completely off the face of the Earth. She also draws a lot of attention to me, which makes me sort of uncomforable because the attention she draws is from flithy meth addicts and gang memebers (which is pretty much this mall's clientel). It seems apropos that todays website is a drink menu from some Universtiy of Michigan bar. She would fit it perfectly with some drunken Wolverines. I bet Tom Brady would've nailed her, at the very least Harbaugh would've.

As a quick aside, pineapple cake and SCUD missiles have nothing to do with her. I had a dream that Tina Fey made me a pineapple cake and I took it outside, at which point I ran into Saddam Hussein and gave him my condolences on his own death. He said at least he still has SCUD missiles as his legacy and we chatted a bit about the war and about raising kids and about the NHL playoffs. He seemed pretty charming.